Monday, January 5, 2009

I Can't See

Last night, through tears, I whimpered a childish plea for my life to be "normal" and "easy" and "clear."

I am continuously at war.

Pervasive fatigue and now this ubiquitous disorientation . . .

I can't figure things out. I don't know what I am supposed to do.

I am so turned around I don't know what or who is real.

Blinded. I can't see a thing. My hands reach out to find dark, dense emptiness---nothing to guide me.

How do I follow if I can't see?

I don't dare move.

I lack the faith.